Bikini Confidence – Jasmine

Jasmine Loves Herself for Who She Is

Words can be hurtful and can impact you in very dynamic ways. It takes a very powerful individual to be confident with who they are, regardless of the cruel comments that they may hear. Please read Jasmine’s story about how she was able to overcome negative judgement and to see herself as a true success story. Jasmine truly does have Bikini Confidence. You can read more about her healthy lifestyle at Eat Move Write.

Hey all!
I’m Jasmine, from Eat Move Write. Samantha asked me to write a post about bikini confidence related to the purchase of my new (and first) bikini. However, something happened to me recently that relates even better, I think, to self-image than me getting my butt in a bikini.
Recently, AOL featured me and my weight loss on their Success & Motivation section called That’s Fit (See the article here.). I was very pleased and excited to see all sorts of new visitors to my blog and also a whole bunch of perfect (non-bloggie friends) strangers commenting on the article itself. Of course, with all things, putting yourself out there like that opens you up not just to positive comments, but to negative ones, as well. And, with my particular story, I find that I tend to incite things like anger, disgust, and utter amazement. See, I lost 200 pounds. Obviously, this piques the curiosity of the masses, but at the same time knowing that I had gastric bypass pares that down. Often, it seems, it is, in fact, very overweight people who are most offended by my choice. It doesn’t seem to matter that I was told I was dying, that I couldn’t have children, that I had been dieting since I was eight years old, and that in order to lose 200 pounds, I worked out every single day for two or three hours at a time and still struggle to this day against a body that would (and sometimes does) happily gain weight at the drop of a hat. It doesn’t matter, and it doesn’t have to, I suppose.

So, I knew, by putting my story “out there” in any vein, would incite a curious mix of anger and inspiration, but I’m a writer by trade. I almost have no choice but to tell the stories I have in my arsenal. So, I do and I have, and I could only hope that there would be many more points of inspiration than anger. That’s been overwhelmingly true. People love my story, and that thrills me to no end, but then there are the other people, few and far between, but there. This, for example, is one of the comments from the AOL story. I copied it the day it happened, thankfully, because they have since removed it from the thread.
It reads:

She’s still a pig. Keep starving yourself, honey, and maybe one day you’ll look like an actual human being.

For anyone to have 200 pounds to lose is pretty disgusting in itself. And, those former fatties are usually emotional basket cases…
Oink, Oink.

Wow, right?
At first, I only managed to repeat, “Whaaa? You can’t be serious!?!” over and over again until my husband got annoyed and said, “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?”
My next response harkened to the super morbidly obese girl I once was: shame. Shame at putting myself out there, shame at being seen at all. I instantly remembered all my flaws. I saw the 15 pounds I’ve gained since my wedding, the ones I’m working so hard to lose, and wanted to die that I let myself be photographed with that extra weight. I saw a body that never quite made it to “skinny” the way I swore I would, perhaps because I didn’t try hard enough, or perhaps because that just isn’t my body type. This one message called me out. It, among dozens of others that used words like “inspiration,” “motivation,” and “beautiful,” shined to me like a beacon. It was all I could see. I started to ask myself, “Do people really see me as a pig? Don’t I look like a normal human being? Am I truly an emotional basket case?”
At this point, my husband interjected with one small word that makes a lot of sense.
“Haters,” he said, with a flare of his hand that meant to dismiss all of those hateful words, every last one down to the “oink, oink.”
And, it made me realize something…

I LOST 200 POUNDS.

I went from this…

To this…

If I don’t celebrate that amazing, stupendous accomplishment, then who will?!? Like my dear husband so nonchalantly said, there will ALWAYS be haters. There will always be someone sitting around, eating potato chips, and surfing on the internet ready to pounce on my dedication to a healthy lifestyle, my weight loss, my continued struggles with my weight. There will always be people who look at me and think that I took some magic pill, that all those hours in the gym, all the foods I’ve given up were all easy because a doctor gave me a tool that saved my life, that made it possible for me to walk, so that I could finally take the reins and run.
There will always be a hater…
To tell me my arms are too big to bare in a wedding dress.

To tell me that I’m far too big at my current (marital bliss) weight to wear this cute bikini, that I’d look SO MUCH better if I just lost this extra weight.

To tell me I’m not good enough, that people don’t like me, that they don’t want to hear my story.

And, it really doesn’t matter. There will probably always be people like that, people looking at how high I’ve climbed and wanting to tear me down just so they can be on top. There will always be haters hating on me, but all that really matters is that I’m not one of them.
Love yourself,
Jasmine

P.S. Happy Birthday Samantha!!!

• Heather (HEAB)
• Nicole (Prevention, RD)
• Meghan Telpner (Making Love in the Kitchen)
• Kenzie from A Healthy Purpose

And don’t forget my own Bikini Birthday post!